Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Not Leaving on a Jet Plane

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Today I am supposed to fly to Bangor, Maine for the last four days of the ABA convention. But right now I am stranded at the Columbus, Ohio airport watching the kindly gate attendants at Northwest Airlines deal with a long line of unhappy travelers. It's no one's fault, unless we can find out who is in charge of summer thunderstorm scheduling.

I was dismayed when I saw that my travel route today was going through Detroit. I have never flown through the Motor City without complications. Asi es la vida!

One thing that drives me insane about airport travel is that you are forced to listen to other people's cell phone conversations. Right now, here at Gate B36, there is a mullet-sporting woman in stretch pants talking loudly about tax shelters for her client. I think she's a lawyer or an accountant. Now maybe it's just my own personal bias, but if my accountant or attorney showed up for a meeting with a long, flowing mullet (with wings), I think I'd have to replace them.

A few aisles away there's a classic worn-out businessman in what's left of a three-piece suit, a tie that's too short, and sensible shoes. He's not going to make the sales conference in Eau Claire, and everyone else around him knows this because he's now said it three times in a row.

Think I'll pull out my phone and have a loud conversation of no importance with my imaginary friend. I'm just dying to talk about my collection of Chia pets, and that conversation simply cannot wait.

OK. Sorry for being so cranky. I should know better. After all, there's no whining in Blogland.


On June 21, 2006 at 11:33 AM Anonymous said...


I had to smile as I read your blog. I've been there too many times also. It is so easy to get cranky when you are at the mercy of the airlines and Mother Nature. Have a safe trip.

On June 21, 2006 at 3:24 PM Bill said...

Hey now....let's not cut on Mother Nature. Those same storms that were keeping you on the ground watching flowing mullets and snooping in on other people's cell phone conversations were giving life reviving liquids to the parched ground of my gardens a few miles East of the airport!!!

On June 21, 2006 at 4:11 PM Patrick Belardo said...

I also love the cell phone barrage that happens as soon as the plane lands. Everyone and their mother brings out their phone as quickly as possible as if the person who calls first will get to their destination quicker.

On June 21, 2006 at 7:18 PM Anonymous said...

Heaven help us, we have to fly through Detroit shortly on the way to Vermont...I already have a 5 hour layover with a 13 year old daughter, I had forgotten the cell phone treats in store.
I am guilty of calling my oldest daughter when our plane landed in Minneapolis, where she lives, just to experience the experience. You made me laugh with your account, humor is sometimes the only saving grace.
Hope Bangor is great when you get there. Safe travels.
Caroline in South Dakota

On October 21, 2019 at 7:05 AM Sam Anderson said...

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