Holiday Party Small Talk

Each year at holiday parties, during the chit-chat and small talk, it's guaranteed that I will hear something like this:

Guy in holiday sweater and tie: Say, you're bird person...what are they called, a orthodontologist?

Me: Ornithologist? That's a scientist who studies birds...I'm a bird watcher.

Guy: Whatever. I seen this bird the other day standing down by the river. It was HUGE!

Me: It was probably a great blue heron.

Guy: No. It was HUGE! And gray. Some kinda long-legged crane or something.

Me: Well, great blue herons are very common around here all year lo....

Guy: No it was a bird that I never seen before.

Me: Did it have a long bill? And a curved neck?

Guy: Yeah

Me: That's a great blue heron.

Guy: No it wasn't that. I seen herons in Florida and they're white.

Me: Yes but...

Guy: And they don't come up here because it's too cold.

Me: Sure, but...

Guy: I thought you said you was a orthodontical bird guy...

Me: Have yourself a merry little Christmas.