Giant Things of Oaks, PA

I just remembered I still have a blog, such as it is. 

And one of my most favorite-ist blog post categories ever is Giant Things. Go ahead. Search the Bill of the Birds archives and let the wonders fill your eyes. And your nightmares.

This beauty of a Giant Thing is in Oaks, Pennsylvania, standing outside an indoor amusement park and immediately adjacent to the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center, where we just held the third-annual American Birding Expo. My guess is Ol' Jughead used to be holding a wrench or some other sort of tool, advertising a car repair center. Now he's standing, empty handed, on the edge of a parking lot, next to his buddy, Life-size Giraffe.

Lifesize Giraffe and extraneous minutiae.

Ben and I spied the Giant Things and had to hold an impromptu photo session. We like to get selfies for use with our "Out There Wth the Birds" podcast. Check out episode 21 in which we walk the aisles of the 2017 Expo, talking to ourselves and others.

No, Ben is not head butting Jughead in the photo above.

Later in the weekend, the Expo staff from Bird Watcher's Digest, along with two of our super volunteers, Ann Hannon and Jessica Melfi, struck a pose with Juggers.

You can find these Giant Things for yourself, when you come to NEXT YEAR'S EXPO, September 21 to 23, 2018, at the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center.

If you come, we can take a selfie!

Caption Contest #25 Winners!

Hey everybody! We have winners for Caption Contest #25! Yes that's winners—plural, with an s. Our judges were stymied at the prospect of choosing just one winner, so we divided the entries into two categories and we have two winners!

In the Dirty Minds category:
WINNER:

Nilpad said...
Optics for all your middle-aged guy needs!


FINALISTS:
Alyssa said...

Although the invite specifically said "bare-naked birding", Geoff didn't feel comfortable unless he brought along certain..."enhancements."

Erik said...
Looks like Geoff stores his Viagra in his optics case.

In the Funny and Clean category:
WINNER:
Leslie said...
OK, scan north until you hit Michigan, look for third jack pine from the left, halfway up the tree, eight o'clock, sitting on skinny branch against the sky, yellow breast, black streaking, split white eye ring..........

FINALIST:
kevbosnafu said...
Our new 'Pinocchio' binoculars will let your birding friends know when you are....exaggerating... about that ivory-billed in the backyard.

Congratulations to our two winners and all of our finalists! And thanks to all who played!

Leslie and Nilpad, please contact me via e-mail to give me your details and claim your prizes! bt3 AT birdwatchersdigest DOT com. Use the subject line BOTB Caption Contest.

Thank you!

Giant Things of Montana

On a lonely highway in eastern Montana on a day in June with unsettled weather. Objects on the horizon...what could they be? They are strange creatures, but they do not seem to be moving. Yet.

My stars, there are a lot of these strange things and they've occupied the high ground. I hope they do not attack our car as it rolls along the highway.

Starting to feel a little FREAKED OUT....


I wish that tall one would stop staring.

This one must have very strong neck muscles.

"Yay! Here comes another container of crunchy and delicious humans!"

This one is sad because he's not sure if he's a dinosaur or a lion. A lionosaur, perhaps?


It's so hard to run with bird poop in your eye.

OK. Now I'm finally calming down. They're just sculptures. Man, they were so lifelike, I was losing my grip on reality. I expected an attack from the Sleestaks at any moment.

Buck Samuelson's work is cataloged by The Smithsonian Institution.

I am proud to be an American. Cue the red-tailed hawk scream!

Failure to Obey the Signs

Recently, while strolling along a wooded path (on the grounds of a classic Ohio roadside attraction) with my family, we came upon this sign (above): "Keep Off the Dinosaurs."

Our kids are reasonably well-behaved creatures, so we did not think anything of it. Well, I guess I thought the sign had a pinch of the kill-joy spirit in it, but that's life these days in the United States of Litigation.

We walked onward.

Moments later the unthinkable happened. Liam was attacked by a raging triceratops.

Perhaps there should have been a sign for the dinosaurs saying "Don't Eat the Tourists."

Thank heavens I had my iPhone with me or I wouldn't have gotten this photo of the attack. We'll need it for the lawsuit.




[ok, just kidding. Liam is fine. So is the triceratops, according to its lawyer and agent.]

Giant Things of Montana

Oh mighty Giant Rifleman
giant gun in giant hands
looking for a giant thrill
from giant varmints you could kill

But sadly you must stay right here
guarding the casino by your rear
And what of those gambling innocents
if you have a bit of flatulence?

I see them screaming, clothes alight
staggering out into the night
a giant fart from giant jeans
caused by giant can of beans

That unhappy look upon your face
makes me think you hate this place
you cannot sit, or run, or dance
or change your giant underpants

O Giant Cowboy, what a life
all alone, no giant wife
wired in place, yet standing tall
the world to you must seem so small.

Giant Things at the County Fair

In our county here in southeastern Ohio, we have a wonderful county fair each Labor Day weekend. Among the many things we look forward to seeing there, aside from the funnel cakes, the elephant ears, the corn dogs, the bloomin' onions, the cotton candy, the lemon shakes, the sausage sandwiches, and the bologna sandwiches, is the giant inflatable sheriff's deputy. It's not just a Giant Thing, it's a giant thing that can walk around and gesture to people.


I am certain that the giant inflatable deputy appeals to kids, helping them to see law-enforcement officers as something other than threatening. But I was surprised to see how many fully grown, otherwise normal adults wanted to have their photos taken with Deputy Blowup. Women especially seemed to like this giant inflatable man in a uniform.

Liam asked me: "Daddy, what does that giant inflatable deputy do?"
"Son, he solves giant inflatable crimes in our community."

It was a hot afternoon at the fair, so the giant inflatable deputy, and his smaller fellow officer, headed off toward the inflatable log cabin nearby, each one casting a long shadow.

I love seeing the giant inflatable deputy. But, you know, when he's gone, I feel just a bit deflated.

Giant Things of North Dakota

The massive bovine form of New Salem Sue can be seen from a long distance away.

She's called Salem Sue and she lives in—towers over, really—the town of New Salem, North Dakota on the south side of I-94, west of Bismarck. We saw a sign for her shortly before we saw her looming presence, standing tall on top of a hill. She is the world's largest Holstein cow statue. There was no way we were simply going to drive past her without stopping for a hi-dee-ho and a closer gander.

Sue's is cared for by the local Lions Club.

She did not disappoint. We stopped at the small entrance kiosk and happily donated our $3 per car full. Then we fish-tailed our way up the muddy road to Sue.

The donation receptacle was a modified milk can.

Three things struck us as we stepped out of our vehicle.

One, it was cold—probably about 45 degrees, not bad for a June afternoon.

Two, the wind hit us like a freight train. We needed to hold onto each other to keep from being blown off Sue's hill. Wind chill estimate: -73 degrees F. I could feel my skin turning blue, under my three coats. My exposed skin had lost all sensation.

She's a proud one, that Sue.

Liam was full of curiosity and questions.

Three: Sue was not only huge, she was anatomically correct. And she was in desperate need of a robust milking. It occurred to me that, had Sue's udders been leaking milk, the entire southeastern quarter of Morton County would have been covered in frothy dairy goodness.

Sue is incredibly life-like.

That is one big Holstein.

The wind was so strong, it was hard to stand up straight.

We stood there, shivering in our amazement. Took some photos. Then each of us tracked a pound of mud into our Toyota Sasquatch (or whatever it was we were driving) and we headed west, toward the Montana border, our giant holstein jones having been satisfied.

A Pilgrimage to Steele, ND

When you are driving west on I-94 through the heart of North Dakota, it's hard to miss the World's Largest Sandhill Crane which lives in Steele, ND. I've been leading trips, giving talks, and digging the scene at The Potholes and Prairie Birding Festival in ND for the past six years and every June during the festival, I try to make the pilgrimage to this holy birding shrine.


You must approach Sandy with a mixture of caution and reverence.

It's a bit of a risk because he's perfectly bite-sized for a giant sandhill crane, but we let Liam pose beside Sandy's massive legs.

It's good to see you doing so well, Sandy. Until we meet again...keep your feet in the mud and your head in the clouds!

My Newest Giant Friend

If you ever find yourself lost on the prairie, there's one giant clue to tell you that you're in Jamestown, North Dakota (aka Buffalo City): It's the World's Largest Buffalo and it lives at the National Buffalo Museum, right off I-94.

No it's not real. If it were, this fine city would never want for fresh fertilizer. And I (standing as I am in the photo above) would have been pulverized into a fine powder.

Giant Things of Panama City

Wherever you go in the world, it's comforting to know that there are Giant Things to see and admire. This guy lives in front of the Shrine Building in the Albrook region of Panama City. I really dig his fez and his white shoes.

This was on my first morning in Panama. There was a tropical screech-owl calling nearby.

Giant Things of Lake Erie

I recently caught on film (with my digital camera) this rare creature which has been haunting the Lakeside area of Ohio's Lake Erie shore for the past five decades. It was vastly larger than my van, which scared me stupid, just like Ernest.

I believe this lumbering behemoth was returning to The Prehistoric Forest region after lunching at the nearby Cheesehaven.

According to my field guide this is a Goudasaurus and is made entirely of soft Dutch cheese.

Giant Things of Nebraska

Donut shops seem to have more than their fair share of cool roadside signs. These signs often incorporate Giant Things. It's been a while since I've shared a Giant Thing sighting here in BOTB, but it's not from a lack of desire on my part. I simply have not been fortunate enough to see the usual plethora of Giant Things from which I would pluck only the most fascinating and succulent.

This giant rooster has a lot to recommend it. It's really big. It's a cool rendition of a cocksure bird. It's crowing to let you know that the donuts are hot and fresh. AND it's announcing the recent birth of somebody's l'il rooster.

Next time you're in Kearney, Nebraska looking for a cup of joe and a sack of hot donut holes, check out Daylight Donuts right on the main drag. I photographed E. Clair Cruller, the Daylight Donut Rooster earlier this month in Kearney. It was the peak of crane and goose migration and the sky was full of birds, so I'm surprised there aren't V's of geese in the blue sky behind E. Clair.

Giant Things That Dance!

Dirty dancing giant things! What next?

Way back on September 1, Zick and I were doing a book reading and signing at the new Books-A-Million in Triadelphia, West Virginia (a town that is soon to be renamed Cabela's, West Virginia for the giant outfitter store that has consumed that corner of The Mountain State).

As we drove up to the bookstore, which was celebrating its grand opening, we saw one of those giant dancing air sock things, powered by an air blower. This one looked like the result of a giant banana having mated successfully with a foot-long hot dog. Its movements were fluid--mesmerizing even.

Throughout the afternoon, as I watched it, it became clear that the giant dancing hotdoganana was putting the heavy moves on a nearby lamppost. It was like Patrick Swayze and that lamppost-like woman in Dirty Dancing. Except that the bananadog had better hair than the Swayzmeister.

Lots of 70s dance moves are coming back into vogue.

We did not stick around after our reading to see if the lamppost finally gave in to the undeniable charm of Mr. Yellow Wigglesdog. But if I see a bunch of yellow lampposts shimmying and shaking in front of that bookstore next time I'm there, I'll be sure to feature it here at Bill of the Birds.

I'm not sure The Bump is coming back, but you never know.

Awesome robot moves!

A Champion for Bill--Jousting Piper

Oh, Liz of the Cosmos, we love you. Krazy girl. Only you would give us a giant metal peep. For Letters from Eden readers, this is the same Liz who appears at the opening of the chapter, "Calling Kali." She is a font of the good and the bizarre alike. And often the bizarrely good.--JZ

Silver legs, yellow bill, crested crown these were the first field marks I noted. But it was big--BIG--too big for a shorebird.
It must be a Bill of the Bird's bird!

So there I was snapping pictures of this giant silly bird with a golden egg wondering if it was the city mascot, thinking, this is perfect for Bill. He could blog about this and have the best time. That silly man. He makes me laugh and it is fun to make him laugh.
I thought, wait I could blog about the great metal peep--yes, my precious. He shall not have it! It is mine. Yessss.

Then I awoke from my dreams to find Bilbo had been sent on a quest. A quest that would take him beyond the bounds of Indigo Hill, flying on the back of the Dragon to the mountains of the Inca. Bill of the Birds must leave the shire on a mission and needs a guest host to post.
So the story begins. I grabbed my cosmic communicator and buzzed the Snow Hill Chamber of Commerce to find out about the origin of the Jousting Sandpiper that lives across the street from the greatest bookstore in Snow Hill Maryland, ALICE on the banks of the Pocomoke River.

The Chamber maid informed me that this was one in a series of sandpipers commissioned for a fundraiser out of Ocean City, MD "Ocean City Birds". South Padre Island TX had Porpoises. Wilmington, DE had Dinosaurs. New Orleans wanted crazy Buddhas...but that idea was shot down.
Sandpipers in various forms painted by various artists live all over

Worcester county. "The Den of Iniquity" a Maryland blog has photos of the complete flock
I like Driftwood!

--photo by Den of Iniquity

After all this time of holding that silly photo I have the rest of the story.

Thanks for trippin' Bilbo!

Here's wishing you and all your friends a bearded helmetcrest hummingbird.

May we all get to Peru someday.
Happy trails,
Liz of the Cosmos
www.elizabird.com

All right, you've outed him. He's in Peru. He called me on our anniversary, September 11. He was on a riverboat in the upper Amazon. Pink dolphins were surfacing all around the boat. He couldn't stop calling out their locations to everyone else. The conversation went something like this:

"So, yes, I do miss you and I want to..RIGHT THERE!! RIGHT AGAINST THAT DARK LOG!!! get home and start NO! FARTHER TO THE RIGHT!!...figuring out..WOW THEY'RE SOOO PINK!!!

I understood, and let him go. --JZ