Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Caption Contest #3
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Posted by
Bill of the Birds
at
2:43 PM
Yes, that is a timber rattlesnake I am holding, halfway stuck into a tube. Yes, my eyes are closed. Yes, I have a mustache in this photo. I'll explain more tomorrow. For now, send in your clever captions, blogzillas. A fabulous prize to the winner!
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47 comments:
Bill – “Is the piƱata ready? My eyes are closed and I’m ready!”
Bystander – “Bill, that’s a snake you’re holding…”
If I can't see the snake...and the snake can't see me...that means it can't bite me, right? Right? Right? OWWWW...dammit!
Hey kids, ya know how your Mom just LOVES surprises...
...nothing up my sleeve!...
"Are you sure this is how Richard Gere does it?"
Oh NO you DIDN'T BirdChick!
I'm sorry, it was the 'stache, I couldn't help myself.
Coming to theaters in 2009: Snakes in a Tube!
"Bill's final banding demonstration."
- Andy
And now this meeting of Snake Handlers Anonymous will please come to order.
Just don't tell UPS what is in the tube!
No honest, this is the way the sax was invented...
I've heard of tubesteak - but tube snake !!!!!
"Let my people go, Pharoah, or so help me, I will throw this staff on the ground and you aren't gonna believe what will happen next!"
You people crack me ALL the way up!
Hey folks, I'm a trained purfessional, don't ya all try this at home now.
Oh, hard to top the suggestions here already. How about "Bill's attempt to create a rattle tree through grafting did not turn out as expected, but he has great hopes for the next generation."
"At least it's not up my NOSE!"
I thought it was supposed to be a gerbil in the tube....
Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snakebite...and furthermore always carry a snake.
"Bill Thompson The Last demonstrating the new found - but short lived, Rattlesnake Blowgun."
If I can't see it, it is not happening.
LOL @ BirdChick... hard to top any of these...
"God I love birding"
"Be careful with that, don't make an 'ASP' out of yourself!"
Somehow, the imitation of Alice Cooper had gone terribly wrong.
"Can I open my eyes now Julie? I want to look through this scope now and see that cute little white-throated sparrow."
I used to pull a rabbit out of a hat - BORING!
Hate to spoil it, but the ACTUAL caption was something like:
TakethepictureZickareyoutakingthepicturedidyougethepicturecanIputthisthingdownnowdidyougetthepictureyetgoodthingthesearemybrownpantsunnnnhhhhhh
Rattle snake, schmattle snake...
Sorry folks but the 'stache has got me a bit rattled.
"Let me tell you folks, there is no better Field Snack that 'RattlerTubes"! No, sir. Easy to store, carry and eat, these little beauties will last through an entire day of back-country birding. Just wrap the velcro straps around your leg and with both hands free, you can bird to your heart's content! And if you call right now, I'll throw in a six-pack of our snack-size, 'Tube o' Garters'! Don't delay, call NOW."
With a bigger tube, you can use the same technique for baby manatees ...
If I can walk on glass shards and hot coals, I can hold a tube snake; If I can walk on glass shards and hot coals, I can hold a tube snake,...
In a pathetic attempt to out-do Birdchick's recent photo of the half-male, half-female Cardinal, Bill tries to convince us that rattlesnake/twig hybrids can be found anywhere the species habitats overlap.
...and once its in the tube, you can massage it to get the oil out.
The Swinging Orangutangs' performance of Mozart's The Magic Flute takes an unexpected turn when Papageno's flute improv takes on overtones of a pungi, the instrument used by Indian snake charmers.
"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. can i let go now?"
Wait...wait...don't tell me...
...don't tell me...let me guess...
Take me in oh tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in oh tender BOTB," sighed the snake
Rondeau, you are just sick and wrong.
And Bill. You did not explain the 'stache. You have to explain the 'stache.
After being released from the ER, Bill shaved the 'stache, sold the leather jacket, threw out the expired milk, and said good bye to "Rebel Bill" once and for all.
While Harpo and Chico were off mingling with the crowd, Groucho Thompson demonstrated his prowess at the ol' Chinese Timber Rattler Puzzle.
Seriously, it's a lot like a gerbil, only with more wiggle...
I am awestruck at the incredible amount of brain power that went into these captions.
Just imagine if we used that brain power collectively to do some good—like figuring out how to get the Pittsburgh Pirates a decent power-hitting outfielder and some good middle relief?
I LOVE America.
For someone who could solve Rubik's cube in 59 seconds, Bill was having a surprising amount of difficulty with Rubik's tube.
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